Motherhood — it changes you. Understatement of the year, I know. Your priorities shift, your body changes and you’ll probably still be listening for your baby to cry out in the night when you’re 80.
But not every woman responds to these changes in the same way. There are moms who see certain changes as net losses — usually the physical ones. Other moms feel that any change resulting from her journey into motherhood is a badge of honor.
Being a mom and having the associated physical changes doesn’t mean you need to “fix” yourself with hardcore diets, intense exercise routines, or surgery. But what if someone is pressuring you to get a mommy makeover?
Tell Them to Take a Seat
Do people actually do that? Pressure others to get plastic surgery? Oh, they sure do, and the internet is full of receipts documenting the audacity.
Case in point: a mother, 8 months postpartum with her third baby, was asked by her husband to get a mommy makeover specifically to address changes in her lower abdomen and pelvic region caused by her c-sections. Changes that she, up until he mentioned it, hadn’t bothered her.
Understandably, she was left feeling hurt, upset, and newly insecure in her body that, uh, made three freaking people, dude!
The only reason why you should get a mommy makeover is because it addresses specific concerns you have. Everyone else’s opinions are completely unimportant.
So, does this mean that if your husband isn’t meant to suggest procedures and guide your decisions, he is just totally useless when looking at plastic surgery?
Not quite. If your partner is pressuring you to get plastic surgery you don’t want, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.
The Rules of Engagement
Ladies, feel free to share this with your fellas. And guys, listen up. These are the rules of engagement for supporting your partner when it comes to plastic surgery.
Rule One: Let Her Lead
Has she brought up the idea of plastic surgery? That means it is actively being considered. Has she just mentioned things about her body that bother her? This is not an invitation to suggesting surgery.
Also, apply this to individual conversations. Even if she has mentioned getting surgery in the past, unless she brings it up, don’t make it the topic.
Rule Two: It’s Not about you
This surgery is about her, how she feels about herself and how she wants to look. If she decides to get a mommy makeover, you will get to enjoy the renewed self-confidence and happiness in her body. But what she changes and how is up to her.
Rule 3: Seek Balance in Your Support
If you are overly excited about her getting surgery, she’s going to feel like you hate how she looks right now. If you are too disinterested, you’ll look unsupportive. Seek the middle ground. Oh, and offer to help pay for it.
Rule 4: Gear Up for the Post-Surgery Days
If your wife is a good candidate for a mommy makeover and decides to schedule the surgery, you need to prepare for being her support person during the recovery period — and for stepping into her shoes when it comes to everything home and child-related.
And that’s pretty much it. Basically, support her and remember that this is for her. And ladies, remember to demand that support and put yourself first.