Motherhood is the absolute hardest job on the planet with the added bonus of zero sick or vacation days. Among women who’ve procreated,mommy makeovers are wildly popular because they can be customized to address the specific ways in which your bundle of joy has pillaged and destroyed your body. A mommy makeover, which often includes breast augmentation, tummy tuck, and liposuction, can bring you back from battered to bangin’. However, there are some horribly disappointing ways in which this procedure can’t improve your life.
1. Won’t Give You More Sleep
From bad dreams to peeing the bed to waking up at 5 a.m. and being screamed at for breakfast, moms get their butts kicked on a daily basis and are perpetually sleep-deprived. Mommy makeovers can include nonsurgical treatments such as chemical peels or BOTOX® to make it look like you’ve had more than the 12 hours of sleep you’ve managed to get this week.
2. Won’t Give You “Me” Time
Forget lunches and pedicures with friends. Moms can’t even use the toilet alone. Your “me” time is gone, honey, which is all the more reason that you’re entitled to do something for yourself and get a mommy makeover. You may not be alone in your bathroom for the next two decades, but you deserve to get breast implants so you’ll like what you see in the mirror while you’re in there with your mini squad.
3. Won’t Turn Your Children into Little Angels
Tantrums, screaming and crying are the new soundtrack of your life. Unfortunately, a mommy makeover cannot make your children love one another or stop flushing foreign items down the toilet, but a tummy tuck and liposuction can give you a tight, flat stomach so you can look good while doing that day drinking that’s sometimes necessary.