Breast implants can be many things for many women. They can boost self-esteem, promote a positive body image and enhance your lovely natural curves. But there are a few select things that they can’t do for you, despite a few extreme cases where some women have tried to do these outrageous three things with theirs.
1. Don’t Depend on Them as Airbags
Unfortunately, one woman in Australia had to find out the hard way that breast implants don’t tend to make very good airbags. When a kangaroo hopped through a biking trail and jump-kicked her, this woman’s breast implants ruptured, not doing much to protect her from breaking three ribs. The lesson? Sure, those perfectly plumped funbags look and feel great, but that doesn’t mean they’ll protect you from run-ins with angry kangaroos.
2. Don’t Give Them to a Museum
Hollywood’s recently opened Museum of Broken Relationships is now accepting donations of your broken heart memorabilia. You can submit your empty wine bottles, bras, belly button lint and even your breast implants. Or not. Because that’s just creepy.
3. Don’t Sell Them
In case you missed it, on April 1st, former glamor model Katie Price put her famous breast implants up for sale on Twitter to the tune of £1 million. Price had her size 1050cc implants removed and replaced with a more modest boost in the hopes that she would be taken more seriously. But thankfully, she wasn’t being serious about selling them (ahem, April Fools), and neither should you.